If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 30. 2. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? 1. Were already married, remember?! Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. If I had a tail, I would wag it! 86. 59. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! 1. Holy s**t, you can see me?! 14. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! "Yeah, you're three years late. I was actually talking to my friend". But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. Reply. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Siri, why am I still single? [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" The music billboard charts got it wrong! The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. Youre a ground-hugger. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Stop asking me why Im single! It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Does the new one work any better? 14. 96. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. It could always have been worse. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. - Anonymous. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. original sound - Tyren Sams. 5. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. 7. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. That's boyfriend material. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Are you alive? - Random Answers - Fanpop 9. Im sorry. 3. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. You want to make them laugh, not yell. No? I suggest you do a little soul searching. 1. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Totally fine! Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com 101. 10. I dont think youre stupid. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. 80. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! 14. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Youre totally on the same page. What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Hello, how are you? Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." 13. The best I can be. [*clap your hands*]. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Is your family tree a cactus? It lets him know that you love spending time together. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Heart-shattering. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. (Say it like he or. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. 95+ Heartwarming Alive Jokes | buried alive, stayin alive jokes 7. 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines A little bit worse now that youve asked. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. This one is a bit long. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Youre like Monday: no one likes you. As for me, I cant even afford honey! All rights reserved. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." How Am I Still Alive. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. | Are you surviving? Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. I dont feel that great, but look! Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. 55. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Call the police." 13 Quora User Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. (bonus points to you if you sing it). Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. I just woke up like that one day. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. We all grow up as we get older. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. But, they will grow up into a dog. 20. 61. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Moving in with Roommates? You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. What do you say when people ask you that? Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Mentally? The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. What Can Be the Worst Epic Responses To I Love You? - Bonobology.com April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Me being single is just a conspiracy! Im too expensive. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. 58. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. So, you changed your mind? Everyone has a different sense of humor. 15. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. I always root for the little guy. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. Living the dream! - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. 62. Because Im awkward and ugly. Is that a scar on your face? Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. 100. What should I doI like you too much. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Its going great, really! Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! In fact, theyre taking too much of it. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Just look what happened there! *Siri activates front camera*. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. 45. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Have you met food? If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. 71. Privacy Policy. Have you been thinking? I havent met the right one yet. 87. You win the internet. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Not bad. You just have bad luck at thinking. 35. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. Why do you ask? Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). 12. 51. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. My guardian angel be like 2. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. Getting better with every passing second. 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot Learn more about us here. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Why some QAnon believers think JFK Jr is still alive - and about to 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Then the worms eat you. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! 42. 4. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . Ive had worse. Youre free to go. (Use a sexy tone). Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 19. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. 70. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. 57. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Hey, whered you get that nose? You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. No, not really. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. At minding my own business? You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. 76. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? I am not sure what you mean. "I'm alright, mate". Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. This one is bound to get a laugh. 48. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital.