I stayed once at Palms Place, the long-term stay part of the Palms that is set up like studio apartments with full kitchens. But he needs to sit down, fix a drink (I prefer Earl Grey, YMMV), and look at his actions and the state of his marriage. She has thus far missed out on several family gatherings and her best friends wedding, because her husband could not get off time to go. Oh, and I think I gambled about $20 on nickel slots. By contrast, I spent a week this summer at a conference in a not-doing-so-well midwestern city. While she comes back with great stories of what she saw people doing, shes never felt in danger or anything like that. OP, I feel for you and your husband. Did I stand out? Your feigned hysteria of all caps and multiple exclamation points comes across like a rude caricature of people you disagree with. Your husband also seems really unduly anxious about Las Vegas. Gift of fear is fine for some things, but lacking in partnership issues advice and perspective. Im curious if your husband is perhaps someone who has never really traveled anywhere, and the whole prospect of travel gets his anxiety going? I mean, it isnt like he is supporting them. Flying might be easier. But if theyre just attending as a participant, they wont be working 20 hours a day. And there, the answer is clear: you have to go. husband doesn t want to go on family vacation. But I just wanted to let you know that there are at least two people in the world who definitively do not agree with your husband. And Im sure theres a lot more I dont know about. And when she called home she was mean to me and I noticed she fixed her hair differently and she looked very happy. When one person in the relationship suggests separate vacations, one of three things happens. People cheat in the tiniest of towns. source: awkward . You bet a quarter, watch and yell at the fake horses running around in a circle, bet another quarter, repeat. Marriage counseling is the only way you save this. husband doesn t want to go on family vacationcynon valley history. Jealous? I was thinking as I read the description, this sounds like its coming from someone who has never been on a business trip before (and re: the kidnapping, someone whos watched too many movies). Long-term meds may not be right, and often take time to work out, but theres several near-instant calming agents available and they could be the best place to start if the Vegas trip is coming up soon. But he is controlling. Go on the trip and have a drink while youre at it. Remember the man who wanted his female co-worker to dress like a Little House on the Prairie extra? See some shows, enjoy some good food, go on a nice hike. Of course, Im only going by what was in the letter. I just point out that theres more crime in her trailer park, and she gets huffy about it. I understand your point, but I think that it is in the LWs best interest to suggest counseling first since she says her husband is otherwise reasonable and kind. LWs spouse is overreacting for sure. I dont gamble but I love New Orleans it feels like an adults only carnival. Perhaps this is exhibiting itself in more ways than just this instance, and if so, its especially something youll want to address head on and as a team. I know Im a good driver, and that I can handle this, but every time you have these little worry fits you make me doubt myself. Last time I was in Vegas (similar situation) I ate at a few off-strip but highly-rated restaurants. This is definitely a sign of relationship problems and is not normal. A great thing to consider would be inviting a few friends over on Friday night for Shabbat dinner. To me, wholesome is about the primary purpose of the activity. Husband is not fair when it comes to my family (his inlaws). The big hotels are super experienced and the conference ran just about as smoothly as something of that size possibly could. Other than me being bored out of my skull, nothing happened! Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. Honestly, it feels awful. Being with a partner whose anxieties and irrational fears are put on your shoulders is not healthy, and thank god I recognized it when I did! My husband is a bit more of a homebody than I am, and he very rarely travels for work. Access to prostitutes, drugs, extramarital affairs, and excessive drinking and shenanigans is available pretty much in every town and city. He thought I should take his moms feelings into consideration and realize that I wasnt just hurting him, but his family as well, and reconsider. But yeah, even then Im thinking more one-off or emergency situations at home, not I dont like that city!. Your man doesnt have much of an opinion of you, does he? Friend: Uh-huh. We dont know enough about how the spouse acts in other scenarios to draw larger conclusions. If a person hasnt had much of a chance (or desire) to go to different places, your impression of them is far different than the reality. Im sure he must have good qualities, but this isnt one of them. Just in case. I said this above, but I read this phrase as his friends were objecting to his stance and would even let their spouses go. We were already pretty good at forming social subgroups with people who are more like us, but now that we have instant online communities for any reason or belief, the effect has grown, and we can choose to associate more with people who agree with our beliefs. I have a friend who doesnt drink, gamble, or smoke and Vegas is one of her favorite vacation places. I think some boundaries are needed here. Its a very highly policed city. Jeez, we all married the same guy. One of my best friends took his family (2 very young children) to Vegas, and they had a great time. It doesnt have to be automatically a negative-value-weighted word (which is admittedly hard for me to do because of my own bad background with a controlling culture and religion) but on the flip-side, I think we should not give cultural differences veto power to prevent us from calling out specific and tally-able patterns of behaviors that some people see as personal red flags or interpersonal deal-breakers. If OP and her husband are from perhaps a small conservative town and the husband has never been, theres a slim chance that hes reacting to this reputation. Travel tip: if you go into a bar whose name would make Hooters say whoa, too obvious and use your corporate AmEx to cut lines of coke, you are probably going to run into some trouble. I dont know if this is a sexist response from jealousy?. I spent a lot of the day just wandering around the strip). AND that a little drinking and dancing and playing roulette (pick your game), or even a LOT of drinking and dancing and playing roulette, which is what many people do is Las Vegas, is not a particularly scandalous thing to many people. Fiance knew this, but he was taking no chances. I admit I am one of the omg WHAT commenters. Case in point: my father is terrified of everyone he loves dying and leaving him alone, to the point where I, as a 32 year old, was expected to text him and let him know when I left work, when I got home from work, if I was going out, if I was changing locations, etc. Absolutely OP should seek out couples counseling, but if the husbands concerns are a reflection or enhancement of their religion or culture, just be really careful in vetting the counselor/therapist they choose to work with. But general anxiety on this level is still causing them problems and will in future if he cant get it under control. But yeah, were both supportive of the other taking trips. Out of curiosity do you know what the statistics in your area for domestic violence? And AP, as your comment captures, and what Alisons advice does, is to put the LW in a position to find out which one it is. It sounds like he may possibly have an anxiety disorder of some type. This reminds me of when I studied abroad in London and my mom warned me about people like Jack the Ripper. husband doesn t want to go on family vacation. PS: My third period class, mostly high-functioning autism cases, is split. : Dont bring your kids to The Thunder Down Under that show doesnt have anything to do with the weather) but its pretty safe, relatively speaking. ), and Im excited to stay at Mandalay Bay because they have an aquarium. Do I Have to Travel with Husband to Visit In-laws? - Mamapedia Hang up the phone, turn it off, walk out of the room, leave the house and walk the dog or go for a drive, stop and get yourself a meal out somewhere. He and this whole situation is definitely unstable and unsustainable. I just love when you have the oh you too? moment with strangers on the internet. rarely cede ground. My SO has been to more conferences in Vegas than I think anywhere else because of the ease with which hotel rooms can be acquired. If its my wife is going to a business conference.. Sometimes its easier to understand from the outside by hearing other stories about how irrational thoughts can impact our lives. Then I realized that he was not being irrational he was worried, and it was not a burden for me just to check in once in awhile, especially if I am on unfamiliar dark roads. If this isreally about more than the fear of cheating, it sounds like there arepretty serious anxiety issues in play here. Thats it. This absolutely doesnt make the response of OPs husband right in any sense, but figuring out why they are feeling like this can be helpful and can help figure out where to go from there. How Vacations Can Help or Harm Your Relationship It's essential to show interest in the things your spouse enjoys, even if you don't share the same enthusiasm. Ment would not. I dont think anyone is acting like they havent heard the reputation, were just saying its silly and outdated. Im a husband sometimes prone to irrational fears about if my wife is okay. The same concerns would translate for a man. If you have time to arrange a therapist, try to meet with several and then pick the one that is the best fit. Originally Published: Dec. 27, 2015. Both of us have traveled the world for pleasure and business in the 15 years. It turned out that this was part of a larger problem he would call her every ten minutes at her desk at work too, and if she didnt answer, he would have her paged over the intercom. Its a lot different than when I first went in 1989, but even then it was quite suitable (ideal, actually) for a business conference. Its really hard for people to disagree with their buddies in ways harsher than well, I dont know about THAT, but I can see where youre coming from., I can very easily see him going would YOU let your wife go on some so-called business trip with her sleazy coworkers to Vegas?? Its just boring to us because we arent into flashy lights and gambling.